“I can remember it like it was yesterday.
我只是闭上眼睛，可以看到自己躺在我们共同担任夫妻的国王大小的床上。那是六月的星期三早晨闷闷不乐的人，那种让您想翻身并按下贪睡按钮。我听说他的闹钟在凌晨5点发出，我将枕头砸在耳朵上。当我6英尺2的丈夫从我们进入卧室的阁楼中摇摆自己时，我将盖子扔到头上以挡住光明。
您会看到，一年前，我们刚刚完成了邦克（Bunker）所谓的家的翻新位置。在城市附近购买了一英亩的物业后，我们将无固定的一辆车库翻转成我们的小房子。
Boasting 400 square ft with a lofted bed, we poured our heart and soul into that space. My husband, always the handyman, had just finished law school and was cramming for the bar. When his hours of studying were over, he would head to Bunker to put on the roof, plumb the bathroom, or install the custom windows we had designed.
掩体的广阔空间使我听到他刷牙，然后滑入卡其色的裤子和蓝色的纽扣。我几乎不知道仅3个小时后，这些裤子会从沥青和他的条纹衬衫中流血，因为EMT奋斗以挽救他的生命。
As I heard him walk outside to start his motorcycle, I lifted my head by the railing and sleepily spoke the words that will forever ring in my head. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to take your truck? They are calling for rain today.’ He said, ‘I’ll be fine. Love you!’ And with that, the screen doors I had just finished painting black gently shut. My husband walked out of our house for the last time. I hit the snooze button and woke back up an hour later.
We had a deal. Derek could ride his bike but he had to text me when he arrived at his destination. I checked my phone fully expecting an ‘I’m safe’ text but none had arrived. At 6:45 a.m., I text, ‘You safe?’
Hitting the snooze again, I woke up at 7:10 a.m. to a missed call and voicemail from Derek’s phone. I started to play the message and my heart instantly went to my throat. ‘Mrs. Lavender, this is David from Eskanazi Hospital. Your husband has been in a serious accident and we need you to get here as soon as possible. He is alive but that is all we can tell you. Please call me back.’
As I called back the number, I found myself scrambling around the house. I remember stopping in our small bathroom and looking at myself. No makeup, hair thrown up, wearing a t-shirt I tried to class up by tying a knot on the side, and a black striped maxi skirt. I audibly told myself, ‘LeAnne, you need to calm down.’
With that, I grabbed my keys and hustled out the door. As I worked my way downtown at rush hour, I started the task of calling our families who both live about 2 hours away. Tears streaming down my face, my biggest fear was that I was going to pass the scene of the accident and see his bike. Our parents answered their phones, threw together an overnight bag, and made their way to Indianapolis, Indiana.
Arriving at the emergency room was nothing like I expected. Instead of chaos and doctors everywhere, it was completely still. Not a single soul was sitting in the waiting room, nor was there a nurse or attendant to be found at the desk. After ringing the small bell sitting on the counter, a man in his 30’s came out from behind the blue painted wall. This was David. He explained that they didn’t know much but Derek was found in a patch of grass off the highway near an exit ramp less than a mile from his office. He was currently getting an MRI and a doctor would be out to speak to me shortly.
By shortly, he apparently meant an hour. As I sat in a sterile private room, in walked a handsome man in his late thirties. He introduced himself as Derek’s spinal cord surgeon and my heart again sank. He explained to me that Derek had crushed his T4-T6 vertebra in his back and had less than a 5% chance of walking. My 28-year-old tall, athletic, handy husband would now be paralyzed from the armpits down. Honestly, my usual emotional self couldn’t even let the tears fall. I was just in shock as he handed me Derek’s black motorcycle helmet. I noticed the face mask was smashed out and watched a tooth literally bounce across the floor. I bent down to scoop up the small tooth and asked if I could see him before surgery.
K博士将我带回了手术区。我不会忘记第一次见到德里克。他的脸殴打和瘀伤。他小心翼翼地转向我声音的声音，说：‘发生了什么事？我伤害了任何人吗？’医生解释说他是事故中唯一受伤的人，他们不确定发生了什么事。然后，他们列出了他的其他受伤，其中包括颌骨，手臂，双手，肩cap骨，6肋骨，肺部塌陷，右耳的听力丧失，眼窝骨socke骨骨折，并在他的头部背面骨折。但是在所有这些方面，没有脑震荡。医生向我保证，似乎没有任何脑部损伤。
10 hours later, I was surrounded by our family and friends, both in person and in prayer. I gripped tightly to my mother-in-law’s hand as we slowly walked towards the room where we would spend the next month of our life. Having suddenly lost her husband and Derek’s dad just 2 years earlier, she knew she was starting the grief process all over again. Her strength became my strength.
下个月，ICU只是一起涂抹。我开始处理脊髓损伤实际上对德里克和我们的未来意味着什么。我们知道我们需要去康复，找到一个可访问的房屋，并弄清楚一团糟的保险。提醒我一次只需要一个小时，因为当您进入ICU时，情况确实如此迅速。
Two weeks after the accident, we almost lost him. As the doctors performed emergency surgery in his room, I was ushered to wait in the hall. I frantically watched his room fill up with staff who wanted to see what the commotion was about. His oxygen saturation level had been dipping all night. A normal adult’s numbers will be at 94-100% and Derek’s had settled at 40%. As I sat on the blue bench outside of his room, watching, a nurse used a bag valve to keep Derek’s airway open. I began to panic. Next, a doctor came out of the room with surgery consent forms in hand. As I signed the thick papers, I asked if there was a fear he would have brain damage. I’ll never forget him looking me in the eyes and saying, ‘We’re afraid he isn’t going to make it.’
At that moment, my brother- in- law came through the ICU doors in a flurry. After being permitted to come back knowing the seriousness of the situation, he sat with me as I processed that I was a few yards away from the surgery because they didn’t even have time to get him into an operating room. Almost as quickly as the chaos started, it then settled. 20 minutes later, people started filing out of the room. I watched their faces closely for any hope. Thankfully, the surgery was successful and Derek’s lungs started to make serious improvements in the days that followed.
A couple of weeks later, we moved to an inpatient rehab hospital in Chicago, Illinois. This is a hospital you stay at but after the doctor’s rounds in the morning, you spend 3-5 hours a day in therapy. You are assigned a Physical Therapist (PT) and Occupational Therapist (OT) that help you with strength building and re-learning simple tasks like how to put on your socks, shower, and get into a car.
我们在芝加哥学习了4个月，并为我们的未来制定计划。通过这一切，我从来没有听说过德里克抱怨。他只是放下头，推动痛苦。德里克（Derek）显然在感染感染时经历了艰难的日子，不得不在打呼室旁边睡觉，并在精神上处理他的新生活。不幸的是，我们最艰难的一天还没有到来。
十月，我们终于拿到了绿灯，回到了印第安纳波利斯。德里克（Derek）使用滑动板转移到我们的汽车上，我们向我们成长为依靠最艰难的几个月中依靠的人们告别。由于Bunker无法进入，因此当我们将市区搬到Derek办公室附近的一间可访问的公寓时，我们最终将其填满了。
那天晚上，我们躺在新的特大号床上，他的母亲慷慨捐赠的那个床，因为邦克（Bunker）的一张床被栏杆被栏杆捕获，德里克（Derek）于当地夏天早些时候建造了。我们哭了。好多眼泪。当我把德里克（Derek）塞进去并设置了两个小时的闹钟时，我们已经达到了最低点。
但是，正如我所知道的那样，生活继续前进，时间开始治愈我们的心。我们的早晨例行工作效率更高。德里克学会了在半夜转动自己。他开始工作，首先是兼职，然后慢慢搬到全职。我们出售了掩体，并利用了我们所有辛勤工作的利润来翻新可访问的牧场房屋。我们尝试飞行并去度假。我们有一只小狗。德里克获得了驾驶执照。就像那样，生活开始变得更加正常。
Don’t get me wrong, this lifestyle is hard. Everything takes more time and needs to be planned out. There are required medical steps we must take every morning which takes 2 hours. We are up at 4:30 am each morning to make sure Derek is out of the house on time. There are the frustrations with flying, finding accessible homes to stay in when we travel, and of course, the steps, curbs, and parking that can create annoying situations.
但像我们niec还有美丽的时刻es/nephews giggling as they push Derek around our home, me leaving him for a long weekend with friends because he is able to be independent, and seeing God’s fingerprints all over our story. Optimism is truly a mindset. It doesn’t mean you can’t be realistic with the hand dealt to you but it does mean you set your eyes forward and notice the bright spots in life.
通过这种生活改变,我们已经提醒we are all members of a club that we never dreamed of being a part of. And when we are in this club, we think we certainly won’t keep wracking up club memberships. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works.
Take heart. Be kind through your pain and know you are not alone.”
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这个故事提交给beplay网络一直不畅by LeAnne Lavender of Indianapolis, Indiana. You can follow her journey onInstagramand herblog。提交自己的故事hereand be sure tosubscribeto our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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