‘大家,如果妈妈被烧毁,她不需要拍拍头和修脚。她需要帮助。’:妈妈声称“基本人类护理”不应被视为“奢侈品”

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“‘Me Time’ is a complete crock of bull.

哦,是的,就是这样。“我时代”的整个概念使我感到愤怒。大家,如果妈妈被日常生活烧毁,她不需要拍拍头和修脚,她需要帮助。喜欢合法的帮助。不是别人拿出垃圾,然后追捕她的那种,直到她说谢谢,并像守护神一样对待那个人。

哦,是的,互联网的人,今天我们将谈论“我的时间”,以及为什么这是地球上最愚蠢的事情。It’s not so much the term ‘me time’ that gets under my skin, but the thought that merely giving a mother an hour or two to ignore her problems only to come home to the same amount, if not MORE, of shizz for her to do is asinine. You want to help a mom be less overwhelmed and happier? Do some of her dishes/laundry/cooking/child-wrangling. Every. Dang. Day.

Basic human care is not a luxury, darnit!

When did going to the dentist become a break? When did getting a haircut become anything other than a necessity? Why are my runs considered anything but required for my overall health? Why is ANYTHING centered on the mom considered ‘me time’ for her? Sorry y’all, but taking a dump shouldn’t be considered a break if my kids don’t barge in. It’s freakin’ ridiculous.

No one thanks me for watching my kids while my husband runs errands, so why the heck is it considered ‘me time’ when I go grocery shopping? This has to stop. All of it has to stop.

Why do moms experience burnout?

您的意思是,除了我们的“休息”仅由撒尿组成的事实之外?因为我们做到了。我的意思不是以超人的方式,我的意思是以奴隶的方式。我们。做。一切。下周二晚上吃晚饭什么?狗得到了他的心虫药吗?谁洗衣服?煮晚餐? And in a lot of cases, worked all day? That’s right. The mom.

Courtesy of Rebekah Svensson

Sure, there are a lot of dad’s out there that do a lot too, but they don’t have this weird concept of ‘me time’ floating around. BECAUSE THEY DON’T NEED IT. I have to make sure everything is in order before I poop or take a shower. I have to secure childcare before I run an errand or drag the tiny monsters with me. Men typically don’t have to do that. They just… do their stuff.

倦怠的一部分是我们每天所做的体育工作,但其中很多是精神负担。记住所有的事情。伟大的比阿特丽斯姨妈的生日?您认为谁记得,发送卡和电话?医生的约会,进餐计划,喂养宠物,阅读有关儿童发展的书籍并跟踪每一个该死的行为。所有的。就像我们脑海中的大中央车站一样!猜猜是什么,几乎没有任何事情与我们自己联系!

Won’t ‘me time’ help then?!

不。它不会帮助。它所做的是把所有的年代hizz we were going to do in that 1-2 hours and shoves it out. Typically more stuff piles on top of it too while we’re being ‘pampered’ (and simultaneously thinking about all the shizz we have to do). Unless someone is literally doing all the stuff we would be doing at that point in time, ‘me time’ is pretty darn useless. Maybe even harmful. And yet, we’re supposed to be grateful for the opportunity! We’re supposed to come back refreshed! I call bs. We don’t need ‘me time,’ we need HELP.

Courtesy of Rebekah Svensson

妈妈真正需要什么:

We need some recognition for the insane amount of work we do day in and day out. We need sleep, good food that we didn’t cook, help with chores, and help with the mental load. Heck, we need ACKNOWLEDGMENT of the mental load! Moms are people too, darnit! Not Employees! We need a break that doesn’t come with a massive backlog of work. Better yet, we need LESS of a load overall.A lot of us moms are like boiling pots of water. This oncept of ‘me time’ tilts the lid in a vain attempt to keep us from boiling over, but no one ever thinks to turn down the heat. Instead, life keeps turning the heat up and up and up. We boil faster and faster. Someone tilts the lid by so very graciously giving us ‘me time’ and we’re supposed to be grateful … but all that really did was release just a tiny bit of the pressure. The pot is still at a raging boil. We need help to turn down the heat. If the heat never lessens, things will NEVER get better regardless of the many times the lid gets lifted.

妈妈真正需要的是帮助。连续,可靠的帮助。我们不需要为此而感到羞耻,如果我们不能再与孩子打交道一秒钟,并且每次我们指出这个胡说八道时都会被认为“比”。

Well, let’s talk about what that help we need looks like, shall we?

Affordable childcare.

This one is a no brainer. We need someone to take care of our kids from time to time for a variety of reasons. I am 100% convinced that humans are not made to parent alone. We NEED the tribe, the community, and to share the responsibility. Without shame. Basically, we need respite care. Otherwise, we have massive epidemics of mental illness in moms. Gee, I wonder why?

Less judgment from other moms.

For real. Knock that shizz off. We’re not doing each other any favors by being judgy. If we don’t support each other how the heck do we stand a chance with society as a whole?

More realistic division of labor in the home.

du。但这仍然是2019年!洗衣不仅仅适合女性。烹饪,清洁,就寝时间等不是妈妈的工作。他们是父母的工作。请问我们可以在家中停止性别角色吗?它不再适用。就像对决斗受到挑战一样,它已经过时了。

More flexibility in the workplace WITHOUT punishment.

我可以间接地为孩子分娩,然后用我的身体喂养所述孩子,因此我可以肯定的是,我们需要停止说我们在工作场所重视母亲并实际上做到这一点。一个人坐在办公桌上的时间对他们在工作场所的看法的影响应为零。我们大多数妈妈可以在一半的时间内完成3倍的工作量,但是我们被拒绝了,因为“我们没有那么多”。

Teach the boys early.

哦,我有男孩,您可以打赌他们的屁股会洗衣服,做饭和干净!以及管理自己的精神负担。这对下一代妈妈有帮助,但这是我们所有人都必须提供的帮助。让我们告诉我们的男孩,他们也必须做这项工作,让我们教我们的女孩期望他们。

以实际上为家庭工作的方式自由的自由。

我厌倦了为我建议“育儿风格”的人,或者批评我如何处理儿子的发脾气。如果您不是24/7全天候处理它的人,那么您一无所知。妈妈们无法赢!不管我们如何父母,有人有话要说。不再!

Is that all?

Nope. Not even close. But this is not a dissertation. Honestly, I could go on forever, but this is a start. Basically, treat us with the respect and compassion we deserve. Thank us for all the shizz we do. Take on some of the shizz yourself. Stop judging us because we aren’t freakin’ perfect. Us moms are the most badass people on the planet. And it’s about time we are acknowledged for the insane amount of work we do day in and day out and HELPED.

Don’t tell me to get some ‘me time’ to feel better. A pat on the head and a pedicure is like me offering a dude a penny for a day’s work. It’s INSULTING. Get with the program people, an hour ‘off’ doesn’t fix the epidemic of overworked, over-criticized, and underappreciated moms. The only thing that will fix that is HELP.

Rant over. Rebekah OUT.”

这个故事提交给beplay网络一直不畅作者:丽贝卡·斯文森(Rebekah Svensson),博客作者尴尬而健康,,,,of Plainfield, Illinois. You can follow her journey onFacebookandInstagram。提交自己的故事hereand be sure tosubscribeto our free email newsletter for our best stories.

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