“‘Would you excuse me for a moment? I just have to grab something from upstairs.’
The theme was polka dots. Our closest family and friends congregated around the room, perfectly inspired by Pinterest. Assorted colors of paper plates were affixed to the ceiling, streamers artfully strewn, creating a whimsical ambiance. The hallway, lined with 12 perfectly selected photos, capturing each smile of the first twelve months. And one perfectly constructed smash cake. We were ready to celebrate.
Except, I was upstairs, in my closet, crying uncontrollably
But this was her first birthday party. And we had over thirty guests waiting downstairs to celebrate her.每个孩子都有一些延迟。不用担心。我朋友的堂兄的邻居的儿子直到两个人说话，他去了哈佛。她很好。
But I couldn’t go down. I only had one thought.
This day is a celebration of everything she can’t do.
Every book, every blog, every post, every conversation at the water cooler was about the milestone a child should have by the first birthday. Some days, I would lie. Some days, I would redirect the question. Most days, I would just smile and comment on the challenging adjustment to parenthood. But I never let them see my fear.
This was my first time having a birthday for my baby girl. I did everything a mother was supposed to do. Our story started like everyone else. Just 365 days ago she came into the world. She was received by a loving family. Her entrance was marked by an excessive amount of photos. I whispered the words to happy birthday as she purred in her sleep.欢迎来到世界女婴。我们将为您带来不可思议的生活。我学会了护理。我学会了换尿布。我学会了如何使她发笑。但是，当我的朋友们继续在先决条件手册中翻页，但我却陷入困境。
Maybe it was true fear that stopped me from going down the stairs.
Maybe it was anger that this was our story.
A birthday celebrates a milestone. My child just follows a different trajectory and it took me about half of her life to get on board with it.
On the evening of her sixth birthday, my husband and I tuck her in with seven of her My Little Pony Equestria Dolls. She tells me all of their names and asks me to tuck them in as well. I breath in every minute of March 5th. I watch her giggle eating purple pancakes. I inhale her joy watching a performance that didn’t cause a sensory overload. I witness her accost a stranger to cheer going ‘Pee pee on the potty!’ I marvel as she reads her name from the birthday card. I celebrate every morsel of this incredible child and everything she continues to achieve.
她的生日不再是冗长的things she cannot do. I have learned how to truly celebrate it.
It is my once a year reminder to breathe.欢迎来到世界女婴。我们将为您带来不可思议的生活。无论。
This story was submitted tobeplay网络一直不畅by Leah Moore an English Teacher from Westchester, New York. Follow her on Instagram赫农E并访问她的网站这里。Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story这里。Be sure to订阅向我们的免费电子邮件通讯，以获取我们的最佳故事，以及YouTube为了我们最好的视频。