“‘Would you excuse me for a moment? I just have to grab something from upstairs.’
The theme was polka dots. Our closest family and friends congregated around the room, perfectly inspired by Pinterest. Assorted colors of paper plates were affixed to the ceiling, streamers artfully strewn, creating a whimsical ambiance. The hallway, lined with 12 perfectly selected photos, capturing each smile of the first twelve months. And one perfectly constructed smash cake. We were ready to celebrate.
Except, I was upstairs, in my closet, crying uncontrollably
Alone.
在我们故事的这一点上，我的女儿还不能坐起来。她测试了零百分位数的OT技能，几乎没有ba不休，似乎没有理解我们。我们已经进行了言语和物理治疗已经三个月了。我们见过三位专家，我们没有更接近答案。
But this was her first birthday party. And we had over thirty guests waiting downstairs to celebrate her.每个孩子都有一些延迟。不用担心。我朋友的堂兄的邻居的儿子直到两个人说话，他去了哈佛。她很好。
‘我会倒下。我只是在寻找穿的衣服，这并不能使我看起来像一个巨大的圆点。’
But I couldn’t go down. I only had one thought.
This day is a celebration of everything she can’t do.
Every book, every blog, every post, every conversation at the water cooler was about the milestone a child should have by the first birthday. Some days, I would lie. Some days, I would redirect the question. Most days, I would just smile and comment on the challenging adjustment to parenthood. But I never let them see my fear.
但是在我的壁橱里，几乎没有足够大的钱，可以握住我的超大，染色的运动衫，我被挤在一个球上，试图找到勇敢的脸。到3月5日，我希望所有等待的事情都会神奇地发生。
This was my first time having a birthday for my baby girl. I did everything a mother was supposed to do. Our story started like everyone else. Just 365 days ago she came into the world. She was received by a loving family. Her entrance was marked by an excessive amount of photos. I whispered the words to happy birthday as she purred in her sleep.欢迎来到世界女婴。我们将为您带来不可思议的生活。我学会了护理。我学会了换尿布。我学会了如何使她发笑。但是，当我的朋友们继续在先决条件手册中翻页，但我却陷入困境。
Maybe it was true fear that stopped me from going down the stairs.
Maybe it was anger that this was our story.
也许害怕寻求帮助。
也许如果我心爱的客人看到了我的脆弱性，我会揭露我们所有人的恐惧。
我不知道什么最终使我移动。我听到的笑声可能是从聚会上来的。我在脸上溅了一些水。穿上一件过多的毛衣和一些非常响亮的圆点袜，以分散注意力，然后走下楼梯。深吸一口气，我抓住了粉碎的蛋糕，在人群中发现了我丈夫的勇敢的脸，然后走向我美丽的女婴。
年龄1.爱她的黄色糖霜。
再一次，是3月5日。我在哭。我每年都这样做。但是在三岁左右的某个地方，眼泪从痛苦变成了欢乐。
A birthday celebrates a milestone. My child just follows a different trajectory and it took me about half of her life to get on board with it.
说“是对衣服的”。6岁
On the evening of her sixth birthday, my husband and I tuck her in with seven of her My Little Pony Equestria Dolls. She tells me all of their names and asks me to tuck them in as well. I breath in every minute of March 5th. I watch her giggle eating purple pancakes. I inhale her joy watching a performance that didn’t cause a sensory overload. I witness her accost a stranger to cheer going ‘Pee pee on the potty!’ I marvel as she reads her name from the birthday card. I celebrate every morsel of this incredible child and everything she continues to achieve.
她的生日不再是冗长的things she cannot do. I have learned how to truly celebrate it.
It is my once a year reminder to breathe.欢迎来到世界女婴。我们将为您带来不可思议的生活。无论。
现在，我只需要努力提高自己的烘焙技巧。”
This story was submitted tobeplay网络一直不畅by Leah Moore an English Teacher from Westchester, New York. Follow her on Instagram赫农E并访问她的网站这里。Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story这里。Be sure to订阅向我们的免费电子邮件通讯，以获取我们的最佳故事，以及YouTube为了我们最好的视频。
从这里阅读更多的Leah：
'嘿！我在那儿看到你。’我听到一个男人的声音从他的方向盘后面大喊。‘我很抱歉。’：陌生人的善举有助于妈妈到达她的“转折点”
'你怀孕了。这是一个女孩。这里有些不对劲。我们不知道她是否会说话。
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