“我丈夫和我患有不孕症，我们决定领养孩子。经过反复的努力，我们变成了寄养家庭，通过寄养照顾领养父母。我们有四个孩子留下来，离开我们回到他们的亲生家庭。一天，我接到一个电话，说有两个姐姐，一个9岁，一个10岁，睡在办公室里。我们家是第66个寄养家庭。他们到处打电话，想要得到批准。他们找不到任何愿意接受他们的寄养家庭。他们的停留时间几乎到了。在我们这个地区，孩子们可以在办公室和某些庇护所呆上30天。如果找不到安置地点，他们就会去另一个收容所或办公室，一直呆在那里，直到找到一个寄养家庭。 If no home is found they’ll stay at a shelter or group home. I don’t know why we got the call. We only wanted infants. We’re young, infertile, not experienced, and weren’t ready for older kids. We made sure our caseworker knew our limitations. We were very careful not to go against what we could handle and what we wanted.
我知道我会对这两个人说不，但由于某种原因，我的心告诉我说是的。他们独自睡在一个没有人的办公大楼里。他们将被分开。我被告知它只能在几天后，直到可以找到另一个位置。我所担心的所有恐惧都穿过我的脑袋。我们知道我们没有做好准备。我以为他们不会债务，很难。我害怕他们试图伤害我们或不可能处理。其他福斯特父母，甚至是其他养育父母告诉我们年长的孩子们“超越了拯救和太多的工作来解决。”但由于某种原因，我想说是的。我的心让我带走这两个人。 I couldn’t think about saying no. I texted my husband and asked him if we could say yes to two older girls for a few days. Children we weren’t prepared for and children we feared. I felt bad for them. I knew they wouldn’t be here long. We wanted to help. We didn’t want to separate siblings. We didn’t want kids sleeping in an office building.
我记得打开我的门，我面前有两个女孩，冻结和泪水。除了他们的衣服上，他们还是来找我们。他们不会跟我们说话或走近我们。他们拒绝在独立的床上睡觉，因为它们以前分开了。他们拒绝靠近我们，并认为所有寄养家都不糟糕，因为他们在以前的家中经历过。我记得我们是多么守卫。关于老童的孩子们有很多神话和恐惧，我们相信他们。我们期待着最糟糕的。相反，我们有两个伤害和害怕的女孩。很难获得他们的信任并处理他们的问题。 It was hard to take steps forward and many steps back. It was hard going in not knowing what to do. Google and Amazon became our best friends. There were a lot of days I didn’t want to try. Their minds were clouded by past experiences. They did not trust us. We were the enemy to them. Over a period of time, their walls started to weaken. We started to notice little changes in them. Things they didn’t do when they first came here but they allow us to do now. I never thought my heart would melt over doing a little girl’s hair or tear up when you hear a little voice saying, ‘I love you.’ It takes strength to open yourself up to a stranger. It takes faith to risk getting hurt again. It takes time for your eyes to become clear and see the person in front of you for who they are.
经过5年的努力设想和挣扎采用，我们将成为我们两个寄养女儿的父母。我会成为他们的妈妈，我的丈夫将成为他们的爸爸。他们的案件工作者问我们是否会采用它们。我的丈夫和我不三思而后行。他们寄养了1,398天，并在我们433天。我们无法想象他们在任何其他地方或寄养不再留住。我们是他们永远的家庭。他们将分享我们的姓氏。他们将是我们的女儿，我们将成为他们的妈妈和爸爸！人们告诉我们采用老年人意味着我们错过了他们的生活。 We don’t feel that way. Our lives together were new for all of us. Everything we did was new for them. I love seeing them get excited about new things they’ve never experienced before. We weren’t there when they were born. We didn’t hear their first words or see their first steps. But we will be there forever. We will continue to grow as a family. We will never miss another day of their lives ever again. When they came to us we started new firsts together and will start firsts together as a forever family. We love seeing two girls smile and laugh after going through a lot in their young lives. We cherish every hug and moment they give us. We love being there for their milestones. Parenting does not end when the child is older, it’s for life and we will be there for life.
我们很高兴我们抓住了机会，答应了大一点的孩子。如果我们不这么做，我们就错过了。做他们的父母是我们所珍惜的。收养他们是我们做过的最好的决定。不孕症，寄养和领养的旅程很疯狂。我们不知道我们会在哪里结束。我们所经历的所有眼泪和心碎都是值得的。我很感激不孕症让我们被领养和寄养。我无法想象没有女儿的生活。他们在各方面都和我们一样，我们不记得没有他们的生活。 There were many times we wanted to give up but glad we didn’t. They were on our no list. Adopting older children was something my husband and I could never imagine doing. We went into foster care to take in infants and wanted to adopt an infant. We were strict with what kind of kids we wanted. We had many fears going in. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. We weren’t prepared to parent an older child but who is truly prepared to become parents? When you hear an older child choose you and call you Mom and Dad for the first time, it makes your heart melt and makes you cry. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. All the work you put in pays off and the rewards are endless. My daughters chose us just as much as we chose them. I’m happy they chose us to parent them and be in their lives forever. Sometimes we might think we have everything planned and go in knowing what we want, but life leads you to something unexpected. You might go in having a plan but God has different plans for you and your family. Trust God, lean on faith, and follow your heart! Don’t let fear be the deciding factor. Life has so many uncertainties and surprises. Please don’t miss out on them.”
“你能收养3个兄弟姐妹吗?”他们已经在寄养中心待了15个月了，需要父母。我们喜极而泣。”: Couple adopt 4 siblings from foster care, ‘They are our heroes’
“我们收到了一个电话。‘Do you want to adopt all 5 siblings?’ It was an instant, ‘YES!’ We told our babies they were finally safe, that we would never harm them.’: Mom of 4 adopts 5 siblings from foster care after miscarriage, twin loss, ‘They have healed my heart’