医生让我丈夫弯腰,看了一眼,说出了你永远不想听的话。发生了什么事?几周前我们还在远足:一位女士对丈夫的癌症诊断感到震惊,“我们太相爱了”

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“即使到了40岁,仍然有希望。你也可以找到一生的爱。他把我从平庸的生活带到童话般的世界。他曾经唱歌“你现在的样子真是太棒了”每时每刻。他叫我美丽,就像我的名字一样。我丈夫秃头。一个非常性感的秃头男人。他不得不在亚利桑那州的所有时代都在他的脑海里保持太阳屏幕。我惊人的,英俊,坚强的爱的丈夫,我大约3年前从亚利桑那搬到田纳西州。我们有机会在这里搬家,我们接受了它。这不是我们最明智的决定。我们在这里有零家庭或朋友。谢天谢地,我们彼此足够了。 We absolutely loved spending every single minute together. We loved each other’s company. We were so in love. My husband put me on a pedestal; he worshipped me and I was so in love with this man. We had the fairy tale marriage and Lee, along with our daughter were the best things to ever happen to me.

亚历克斯·辛克莱

2017年10月30日,李抱怨他的臀部有皮疹。我们去看医生,他们给了他抗生素和药膏。没有什么!几周后我们又去看了医生。更多的药膏和抗生素。还是什么都没有。回到医生那里,再来点药膏和抗生素。皮疹越来越严重了。现在是十二月。医生最后说:“很抱歉,我不知道这是什么,你需要看专家。”’ On January 2nd of 2018 Lee and I take off work early and head to Knoxville for the specialist. The doctor has Lee bend over, takes one look and says those words you don’t EVER want to hear. You have CANCER! WHAT?? WAIT! NO! The doctor takes a biopsy just for paper work purposes and schedules us for a PET SCAN and colonoscopy the following day. The doctor tells us what our treatment plan will be and that it needs to start ASAP. Radiation 5x a week for 6 weeks then chemo for another 6 weeks and if this treatment doesn’t work then surgery. But we want to avoid surgery at all costs because that would mean a colostomy bag. I would take that bag any day.

亚历克斯·辛克莱

我们看到辐射和化疗的医生接下来的时间安排程序并越过一切。辐射医生告诉我们,这将是非常痛苦的,需要很长时间才能治愈。他正在为最糟糕的准备。发生了什么事?我们几周前徒步旅行!他还告诉我们,为了使辐射工作和李治愈,我们需要立即戒烟。我安排了我们被催眠的预约。一个会议。有效!没问题。 From here on out is pretty much fast forward and a big blur. Funny how your mind protects you by forgetting some stuff.

李开始了他的放射治疗,我们做的很正常,生活也很好。他一直工作到第二周。放射治疗很可怕。李非常痛苦。他说这就像是大便杯。就像他们用手电筒照他的整个屁股。这让我心碎。现在我们终于达到了放射治疗的终点,这给李造成了巨大的损失。在艾尔在康复过程中,是时候通过一个通过手术植入的端口开始化疗了。直到现在,他一直在服用化疗药物,直到放射治疗结束。在李开始化疗的那天,他去看医生,告诉他感到难以置信的胸痛。在我们开始化疗之前,他的医生把他送到医院做了胸部X光检查化疗。李在工作时打电话给我,告诉我他要去医院,然后会来我的办公室。他几乎每天都会和我一起和菲比一起工作。X光检查发现他的肺周围都是液体,需要排干。李非常强壮,他当时就这样做了,没有麻醉。他们排干了2升bloody液体。医生在周五打电话给我,告诉我他们发现的液体含有癌细胞,我丈夫现在患有4期转移性肺癌,还有大约8个月的生命。他们无能为力。你在开玩笑吗?我立即倒在地上哭得眼泪汪汪。我们都哭了一整晚。我们没有任何线索该怎么办。你知道的下一件事是,我们正在飞往亚利桑那州美国癌症治疗中心的飞机上。我甚至不记得做过那些安排或打过电话。CTCA是最令人惊奇的地方。你走进来,立刻感受到爱和疗愈,几乎就好像上帝自己也在这里。我们甚至能够带上我们的金毛猎犬。她最终成为了李的服务犬。我们的第一次约会持续了一整天。Pet扫描、结肠镜检查等。李对他的肺做了一个漫长而广泛的手术。他们基本上取出了他的肺,刮去了肺壁,把他的肺放回原位。他非常痛苦。我们在那里呆了将近一个月。我们将为他做手术我们从田纳西州到亚利桑那州来回奔波接受治疗。每个月一次在亚利桑那州,每个月一次在田纳西州。无论发生什么,我们都会让它发挥作用。我们的财务状况很糟糕,但这并不重要。

亚历克斯·辛克莱

我们让它回家并开始恢复。我重返工作岗位。李很无聊,他来和我挂着。我的老板很棒。我们不再徒步了,睡前是很多早期的,晚餐并不那么好。它更像是麦片或任何李可以下降。依偎是我们在床上可以做的,并相信我,我没有放手。我尽可能地抱着他,但即使是痛苦的痛苦。

7月1日,星期天。我不会忘记的一天。李和我决定将我们的狗带到湖边,让她玩耍。他会为她扔球,我会看。我现在会给任何东西看。我们回家了,我为他做了一些炒鸡蛋和吐司的晚餐。由于某种原因,我们很早就吃了。他在椅子上睡着了。大约8:30左右,我以为哇他已经睡着了一段时间,并试图叫醒他。醒来李! He wouldnt wake up! I PANIC and call 911. They get there and pick him up and I scream ‘he just had surgery be careful’ and they rushed him to the hospital. I follow and walk into the ER and he is sitting up and says ‘HI BABY.’ Are you kidding me? Apparently his O2 level dropped to 20 which is crazy low. He would’ve died if I didn’t call 911. The doctors ran all kinds of tests again and moved him up to ICU. I didn’t leave the hospital for the next 2 weeks. I planted myself RIGHT next to my husband! The doctor pulled me aside to show me the xrays. Like I know what I’m looking at. He proceeds to tell me Lee has about 5 days to live. Can someone PLEASE tell me why this is happening? So I have to be the one to go in and tell my husband he only has 5 days to be with me. Right about now is when our daughter walked in from Arizona. I lost it. We went in and told Lee. He just held me. We all cried and cried hard. I needed a breather and took a walk around the hospital. When I came back Alexy was laying with Lee and they were asleep. It was the most precious thing.

亚历克斯·辛克莱

我们决定把李送回家。他们来了,我们做了所有的安排。Alexy和他们一起回家帮忙。现在是我们跟随的时候了。我们到了那里,护士却不在,把事情留给了亚历克西。与此同时李开始恐慌了没有足够的氧气我们也不知道怎么安装。急救人员也不知道,这不是他们的工作。所以急救医生说去他的我们要把他送回去。他们把他推到外面,急救人员冲了进来,说:“他快不行了,我需要换气。”“我又倒在地上歇斯底里地!”然后我们回到医院。 Where Lee is now ventilated and fighting it! I’m crying and trying to calm him down, he’s trying to pull the tubes out. They finally sedate him. For the next 5 days. We are back up in ICU. His family fly in from Texas. I don’t leave my husband’s side! The next 5 days were spent singing to him, bathing him, praying over him and begging him to hang on. But in reality he couldn’t. It was time for my husband to go home. And not with me. I had to tell the nurses that tomorrow we will take him off the ventilator. His family said their goodbyes and it’s just Lee and his girls. The next day comes and I call the nurses and tell them it’s time. I crawl into bed with my husband for the last time, my daughter covers my face with a cloth, just in case. And all I remember is him waking up and me saying ‘why do you wanna marry me?’ And him saying ‘so I can kiss you whenever I want.’ HE’S BACK! OH MY GOSH BABY!

接下来的7天是我一生中最美好的日子。那是我和丈夫在一起的最后日子。我不会让任何人碰李的。我给他洗澡,给他洗澡。我不小心的时候,亚历克西小心了。我们是一个团队。李很有趣,很机智,对周围发生的一切都很合拍。充满欢笑,一如既往!他让我和阿列克谢不停地笑。护士们把我们搬进了一个更舒适的房间,在那里我不用睡在椅子上。 I could sleep in an actual bed. We layed around and watched TV. Talked as much as lee could. He was very short of breath all the time. He could not panic; He had to stay calm. We made sure of it. This was such a precious time for the 3 of us. We took Lee home after 5 days with a great hospice company Avalon. This time the nurse was there. I drove home with Lee in the ambulance to make sure he stayed calm. We got home and everything was perfect for him. Alexy and I just did normal stuff, cleaned the house and watched TV. Lee just smiled and watched us. Saturday we all woke up around 7 and just laid around. About 3 PM Lee dozed off for a nap. That night I kissed Lee all over and I sang to him. I told him how much I loved him. And that I would be ok. Even though I wouldn’t be.

我们都睡着了,大约凌晨4点我醒来,看到李很冷,所以我把他盖起来。大约凌晨4:30 Alexy醒来,发现Lee很热,所以她把毯子拿了下来。大约早上7点我醒来,李已经走了,握着我的手。他再也没醒过来。我的孩子不见了。我所熟悉的生活消失了。我的心立刻被掏了出来。有谁能告诉我,一个健康的男人怎么被诊断出结肠癌,7个月后死于肺癌??

失去你的伴侣是痛苦的、消耗的、持续的和衰弱的。我们火化了李,带他去亚利桑那州参加葬礼。它是美丽的。我飞回泰米尔纳德邦开始我的新生活,没有了我的丈夫。我现在正在接受治疗,尽我所能过最好的生活。因为我又能和李在一起了。我比以往任何时候都更接近上帝。我想让人们知道,李是迄今为止最棒的丈夫、朋友和父亲。他是一个慈爱、诚实、虔诚的人,工作努力。他的人生信条是“不计后果地做正确的事”。“他爱他的女儿们胜过爱自己的生命。 He taught me so much. He made me better.

我们的女儿不得不独自走上红毯。我们都得过没有他的日子。悲伤是一个过程。它没有附带说明书。我拥抱每一个部分。我不得不这么做。我哭的比笑的多。我想念李胜过想念空气。我永远都是罗伯特·李·辛克莱夫人。美好的日子和不美好的日子。 I will get through this. We grieve Lee well, We grieve with HOPE! ‘TILL MY LAST DAY’ Till I see you again baby!”

亚历克斯·辛克莱

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