“I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. I was in DC for work and was on my way to a client’s office for a meeting. As I was sitting in the car with one of my co-workers, the tears began to flow. Before Kyle even began to speak, the pit in my stomach was enough to tell me something wasn’t right. ‘Kayla, I have something to tell you,’ he said in a scared tone of voice. ‘Don’t panic, but it’s cancer.’ I remember sitting in that car, feeling like I was going to throw up instantly and couldn’t find a single word to say back, I was honestly speechless. I should’ve been the one doing the talking but instead Kyle was consoling me, telling me how, ‘Everything is going to be okay. It’s just a little bump in the road. I love you, don’t worry.’
After 10 hours of waiting, surgery had finished and the surgeon came in to talk to us. This doctor was truly an amazing man. Before Kyle’s surgery that morning he asked if he could pray with us. Of course we agreed, and he promised to do his best work with the hands of God at his side. When he came in post-surgery, his face said it all.
‘It is a lot more involved than the scan had showed,’ he said.
He called in other surgeons and a urologist due to the tumor being attached to the Ureter tube, and various inflamed lymph nodes. He explained, ‘We did the best we could, but we were not able to get it all. Chemotherapy should help with the remaining cancer in Kyle’s body. He is going to be very sore tonight, let him rest and maybe wait to share the news.’ Surrounded by family, we all cried, hugged and devised a plan of how to tell Kyle the news. It didn’t matter what everyone’s opinions were because I knew when Kyle asked, I wouldn’t be able to lie. What had been a long, exhausting and emotional day of waiting, I had to find the inner strength to deliver the bad news to my fiancé.
下一章是12轮化疗therapy. A scary chapter for the two of us. I will never forget the first day at our local cancer center. We started the day by taking a chemo class and learning about the effects of chemo, things like teeth rotting, smells, loss of hair, etc. Then they continue to walk us back to the infusion area for Kyle’s first treatment. We walk past several rooms with patients that look like they are dying. That was my breaking point. I lost it, fell apart, bursting into tears. I remember thinking, ‘What’s wrong with this picture? I’m not the patient. I shouldn’t be crying.’ In true Kyle fashion, ‘What are you crying for Mama bear? It’s going to be okay, I promise. I got this.’ His strength, determination and positive attitude from the beginning was incredible.
六个月来，凯尔没有癌症，但在复仇返回后不久。凯尔（Kyle）获得了第二个结肠，切除了更多的结肠。在2013年的一月寒冷的一月，手术后，我们与牧师一起访问了我们所面临的生命斗争。对我来说，感觉就像是一座山，只是对凯尔的速度颠簸。在与布莱恩牧师的对话中，凯尔转向他说：‘我还没有做到。上帝还不想要我。’当时我的脸可能说了一切。我感到震惊，惊讶。您会看到，凯尔决心击败他面临的讨厌疾病，他做了几年。如果您今天问他如何做到这一点，他会告诉您，‘对主信心并爱您的家人，因为如果您没有这些，那么您的生活将是非常黑暗而孤独的。相信我。’最初是一个大胆的声明，“我还没有完成”成为我们家庭和生活中的主食。 Little did I know it would become something so much more.
For the next 3 years we spent over 150 days in and out of various hospitals, doctors’ appointments, and treatments. It seemed as if we had tried everything to rid the cancer in Kyle’s body. After time the cancer had a plan of its own. After 14 surgeries, we started running out of options and Kyle’s body became more and more tired. The emotional rollercoaster we had been on for the past few years began taking a toll on the two of us. However, two things carried us this far and we were not willing to give either of those up, love and faith. Even after Kyle’s cancer diagnosis before our wedding, I knew I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I didn’t know what I was signing up for, but that didn’t matter. What mattered is the love we had for one another, the strength and ability to pick each other up when needed, and the faith in God that no matter what the outcome, we believed. We survived the diagnosis, we survived being told that we would never be able to have kids together, we survived being told he had less than 6 months to live, but most importantly, we taught a lot of people along the way what true love looks like.
Kyle’s will to fight was incredible. He surpassed many medical professional’s expectations. Our last few days in the hospital prior to moving to hospice, we had a lot of tough decisions and conversations. In discussing things like DNR/life support, computer passwords, bank accounts and funeral plans, all the things you don’t think about. I asked Kyle what he feared. He said, ‘I’m not scared to die, I’m scared I’m going to be forgotten, and I’m worried about you.’ He kept telling me how sorry he was for putting me through this for so many years. (Like he chose this life). He proceeded to tell me, ‘I want you to move on, start a family with someone who will treat you like a princess, as you deserve.’ I had no words, just tears.
At that point, I couldn’t fathom moving on. I still hadn’t processed living a life without my best friend. Through every high and every low, he loved me more than I would ever know. You didn’t have to know Kyle to understand his love for others, his unending faith, his infectious smile, ability to make you belly laugh, and amazing will to fight. He was one of the most selfless human beings I have ever met. My only request to Kyle was for him to send me signs to let me know he was near. Of course, he has far exceeded my expectations by constantly sending me obvious signs. One of the most unforgettable was the sunset in my backyard the night after his celebration of life. It was as if the heavens were singing and I could hear Kyle saying, ‘I’m okay Mama Bear, I made it. I’m now pain free.’
7月31日st, 2017, Kyle entered the gates of heaven. I witnessed him take his last breath on this earth, a special moment that I will treasure forever. Something that is unexplainable to those that have never experienced. His funeral was beautiful, a true celebration of a life taken too soon but a legacy that was left to make a difference for years to come.
At the age of 28, I became a widow, a title no one wants and something I had never envisioned for my life. However, I made a promise to my husband that he would never be forgotten, and I would get working on INDY (an acronym for those four little words he said often) – I’m Not Done Yet. This became a way for me to channel my grief and carry on a legacy of a man that was a warrior and hero to more people than he would ever know. Find out more about INDY Foundation这里。
从播客到视频节目，育儿资源再到快乐的眼泪 - 加入爱的爱，社区和beplay网络一直不畅订阅on YouTube.
This story was submitted tobeplay网络一直不畅by Kayla Strand of Sauk Rapids, Minnesota. You can follow her journey onInstagram。Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story这里。Be sure to订阅向我们的免费电子邮件通讯，以获取我们的最佳故事，以及YouTube为了我们最好的视频。
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