“I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. I was in DC for work and was on my way to a client’s office for a meeting. As I was sitting in the car with one of my co-workers, the tears began to flow. Before Kyle even began to speak, the pit in my stomach was enough to tell me something wasn’t right. ‘Kayla, I have something to tell you,’ he said in a scared tone of voice. ‘Don’t panic, but it’s cancer.’ I remember sitting in that car, feeling like I was going to throw up instantly and couldn’t find a single word to say back, I was honestly speechless. I should’ve been the one doing the talking but instead Kyle was consoling me, telling me how, ‘Everything is going to be okay. It’s just a little bump in the road. I love you, don’t worry.’
我的旅行还剩一天半，回家还不够快。这么多想法在我的脑海中流传。有很多未知数和不确定性，但最重要的是，那一刻我不在那儿支持我的未婚夫。本来应该是常规的结肠镜检查，立即改变了我们的世界。我从来没有想过30岁那年的癌症诊断是我们一生的计划。
我回到家后，我给凯尔提供了最大的拥抱，然后流泪。围绕癌症诊断的恐惧是真实的。我们共同计划的未来生活的不确定性是凶猛的。癌症是一个丑陋的词，具有可怕的含义。这种疾病使我的几个家庭成员太早了，我也无法使我的丈夫失去这种可怕的疾病。
我们正在生活中度过一个激动人心的时刻。我们刚刚在该国购买了梦想中的家，距离说我愿意的六个月还有六个月的路程。兴奋迅速消失了，我们的重点成为凯尔（Kyle）击败癌症。从一开始，赔率就对凯尔。我们年轻而害怕，但也充满了问题，医生似乎并不总是很欣赏。我们的第一次会议是与外科医生，他解释了这是一项广泛但常规的结肠手术。他们会进去，去除结肠的一部分，即肿瘤也被附着，然后将其切除，六个星期后，凯尔将开始化学疗法。
诊断后短短两周，凯尔（Kyle）进行了手术，并决心违背赔率并击败癌症。如果您从未坐在医院等候区，上帝保佑您，因为墙上的小钟似乎永远不会移动。电视屏幕会以您的患者状态更新您，并且护士的一半通常会向您更新情况。经过5个小时的时间，应该是8小时的手术后，一名护士进来为我们提供最新消息。她说，这比预期的要长，因为它比他们想象的要侵入更具侵入性。最初扫描表明肿瘤被包含在结肠内，但是一旦进入内部，他们就意识到它已经在结肠外生长，并且可能附着在其他器官身上。他们正在努力消除尽可能多的东西，但是他们并不积极，他们将能够得到所有这些。
After 10 hours of waiting, surgery had finished and the surgeon came in to talk to us. This doctor was truly an amazing man. Before Kyle’s surgery that morning he asked if he could pray with us. Of course we agreed, and he promised to do his best work with the hands of God at his side. When he came in post-surgery, his face said it all.
‘It is a lot more involved than the scan had showed,’ he said.
He called in other surgeons and a urologist due to the tumor being attached to the Ureter tube, and various inflamed lymph nodes. He explained, ‘We did the best we could, but we were not able to get it all. Chemotherapy should help with the remaining cancer in Kyle’s body. He is going to be very sore tonight, let him rest and maybe wait to share the news.’ Surrounded by family, we all cried, hugged and devised a plan of how to tell Kyle the news. It didn’t matter what everyone’s opinions were because I knew when Kyle asked, I wouldn’t be able to lie. What had been a long, exhausting and emotional day of waiting, I had to find the inner strength to deliver the bad news to my fiancé.
那天晚上，凯尔（Kyle）只是我们两个人，凯尔（Kyle）慢慢开始醒来，我迫不及待地想看到他的棕色大眼睛。我没想到第一件事是“那么，“那是怎么做的？”我仍然没有想出最好的告诉他的方法，但诚实是最好的政策。我回答说，‘这比他们想象的更具侵入性。他们不得不服用20英寸的结肠，20个淋巴结，只能得到约90％的肿瘤。’房间保持沉默，我坐在那里，挣扎着泪水，试图保持强壮。我无法想象那一刻在凯尔的头上发生了什么。他回答说：“嗯，现在呢？”好吧，一旦您从手术中治愈后，他们建议化疗。房间再次保持沉默。‘凯尔，我爱你。我们将一起解决这个问题。’
下一章是12轮化疗therapy. A scary chapter for the two of us. I will never forget the first day at our local cancer center. We started the day by taking a chemo class and learning about the effects of chemo, things like teeth rotting, smells, loss of hair, etc. Then they continue to walk us back to the infusion area for Kyle’s first treatment. We walk past several rooms with patients that look like they are dying. That was my breaking point. I lost it, fell apart, bursting into tears. I remember thinking, ‘What’s wrong with this picture? I’m not the patient. I shouldn’t be crying.’ In true Kyle fashion, ‘What are you crying for Mama bear? It’s going to be okay, I promise. I got this.’ His strength, determination and positive attitude from the beginning was incredible.
随着治疗的继续，化学疾病，体重减轻和神经病的设定。目的是击败癌症，但婚礼铃也在我们的脑海中，这导致决定从化学疗法中休息直到婚礼结束后休息。凯尔（Kyle）想在那天变得坚强，感觉不错，而不是生病和虚弱。2014年2月22日，我们说，我在明尼苏达州的14度宜人一天。这是一个充满爱情的完美冬季仙境。我们与400个最亲密的朋友和家人一起庆祝了我们的爱。至少可以说是难忘的一天。凯尔（Kyle）只想要那天的外观和感觉，而且他做到了。
六个月来，凯尔没有癌症，但在复仇返回后不久。凯尔（Kyle）获得了第二个结肠，切除了更多的结肠。在2013年的一月寒冷的一月，手术后，我们与牧师一起访问了我们所面临的生命斗争。对我来说，感觉就像是一座山，只是对凯尔的速度颠簸。在与布莱恩牧师的对话中，凯尔转向他说：‘我还没有做到。上帝还不想要我。’当时我的脸可能说了一切。我感到震惊，惊讶。您会看到，凯尔决心击败他面临的讨厌疾病，他做了几年。如果您今天问他如何做到这一点，他会告诉您，‘对主信心并爱您的家人，因为如果您没有这些，那么您的生活将是非常黑暗而孤独的。相信我。’最初是一个大胆的声明，“我还没有完成”成为我们家庭和生活中的主食。 Little did I know it would become something so much more.
For the next 3 years we spent over 150 days in and out of various hospitals, doctors’ appointments, and treatments. It seemed as if we had tried everything to rid the cancer in Kyle’s body. After time the cancer had a plan of its own. After 14 surgeries, we started running out of options and Kyle’s body became more and more tired. The emotional rollercoaster we had been on for the past few years began taking a toll on the two of us. However, two things carried us this far and we were not willing to give either of those up, love and faith. Even after Kyle’s cancer diagnosis before our wedding, I knew I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I didn’t know what I was signing up for, but that didn’t matter. What mattered is the love we had for one another, the strength and ability to pick each other up when needed, and the faith in God that no matter what the outcome, we believed. We survived the diagnosis, we survived being told that we would never be able to have kids together, we survived being told he had less than 6 months to live, but most importantly, we taught a lot of people along the way what true love looks like.
Kyle’s will to fight was incredible. He surpassed many medical professional’s expectations. Our last few days in the hospital prior to moving to hospice, we had a lot of tough decisions and conversations. In discussing things like DNR/life support, computer passwords, bank accounts and funeral plans, all the things you don’t think about. I asked Kyle what he feared. He said, ‘I’m not scared to die, I’m scared I’m going to be forgotten, and I’m worried about you.’ He kept telling me how sorry he was for putting me through this for so many years. (Like he chose this life). He proceeded to tell me, ‘I want you to move on, start a family with someone who will treat you like a princess, as you deserve.’ I had no words, just tears.
At that point, I couldn’t fathom moving on. I still hadn’t processed living a life without my best friend. Through every high and every low, he loved me more than I would ever know. You didn’t have to know Kyle to understand his love for others, his unending faith, his infectious smile, ability to make you belly laugh, and amazing will to fight. He was one of the most selfless human beings I have ever met. My only request to Kyle was for him to send me signs to let me know he was near. Of course, he has far exceeded my expectations by constantly sending me obvious signs. One of the most unforgettable was the sunset in my backyard the night after his celebration of life. It was as if the heavens were singing and I could hear Kyle saying, ‘I’m okay Mama Bear, I made it. I’m now pain free.’
7月31日st, 2017, Kyle entered the gates of heaven. I witnessed him take his last breath on this earth, a special moment that I will treasure forever. Something that is unexplainable to those that have never experienced. His funeral was beautiful, a true celebration of a life taken too soon but a legacy that was left to make a difference for years to come.
At the age of 28, I became a widow, a title no one wants and something I had never envisioned for my life. However, I made a promise to my husband that he would never be forgotten, and I would get working on INDY (an acronym for those four little words he said often) – I’m Not Done Yet. This became a way for me to channel my grief and carry on a legacy of a man that was a warrior and hero to more people than he would ever know. Find out more about INDY Foundation这里。
我相信我的计划从来都不是一件容易的事。我不是为了过上舒适的生活而创造的，因为现实是在压力下做得更好。我天生就以我从未梦想过的能力成为世界改变者。恩典和决心的影响者。更重要的是，我发现通过爱与信仰，一切皆有可能。”
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