Our first placement came three days later. Our lives forever changed the day we met this sweet eighteen-month-old baby angel girl. When I got the call, I was told a little about her background. Sometimes you receive an abundance of information, and sometimes you have to ask a lot of questions. I sat there on the phone stalling because I needed to think. I was panicked because this would be our first placement, and I had a million questions but couldn’t think of a single one. I finally asked if she had any known behavioral issues and was given an answer to my satisfaction, then I put them on hold and called my husband. We agreed to accept the placement.
关于six weeks into our time with her, we were told she would be moving in with her great aunt and uncle. We were devastated. Knowing the goodbye was coming was hard. I teared up when I gave her baths or read her stories. We were only given a couple days’ notice. We celebrated her, prayed over her, and loved on her as much as we could. I wrote a letter to her family to share her schedule, and I hoped and prayed they would let us still see her sometimes. While we were finishing up packing her things the night before she was supposed to leave, we received our second placement call for a boy, five months old with nowhere to go. We immediately said yes and welcomed our newest little that evening, all scared, frightened, and sick. That first and last night was a long one for multiple reasons. We were filled with excitement, sadness, new baby not sleeping, grief, uncertainty on how the new placement would go, etc.
The next morning, my husband, Ariel, and myself said our goodbyes to our little angel and wept. Within a couple hours, my cell phone rang and as I answered my pulse quickened when I heard a voice on the other end say, ‘Hi, this the great aunt for the little one you took care of. We just want to thank you for all you’ve done, and we would love to have you still remain in her life if you would like to.’ I remember Ariel coming into my room with bloodshot eyes, having skipped school that day in tears over losing her little ‘sissy,’ and telling her about my call. To this day, we still get updates and get to see our growing little angel. She is happy and thriving and still the beautiful singing, silly little girl she was the day she arrived.
cWe were blessed to see him take all his firsts—teeth, crawling, walking holding on, walking alone, first holidays, all of it. Around eighteen months old, while my husband was out of the country, I got a call from the caseworker to pack his things. She would come get him in the morning. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I couldn’t breathe or form a sentence. My oldest daughter, Sydney, drove home that night from school, and friends came over to be with me as I faced our next major loss with virtually no warning at all.
My husband never got the chance to say goodbye. When you love someone with your whole heart, especially for the thirteen months we were given, it’s hard to let go. We decided to take a couple months off to grieve after loving a child for that time. I hadn’t had to navigate those waters yet, and we all needed some time. His mother had no interest in reaching out to us or allowing us to continue in his life. This added further devastation to our hearts. Our precious friends and family surrounded us, comforted us, loved us, and helped us get through that time. Still grieving, we opened our home yet again about two months later. Within minutes of opening our home, we got a call for another little eighteen-month-old boy.
我们在纽带。他的traumawas from a deep place, and he just needed to know someone would be there, someone would still love him. This forged one of my deepest relationships, because it was born out of pain and determination to love. A few months later, his baby brother, eight months old, joined our family from another foster home and the bond between blood was evident immediately. It was a huge leap for us, but they needed and deserved to be together. Ariel had said, ‘Why wouldn’t we take him in?’ How do you argue with that? About six months into the case, CPS asked if we would consideradoptingthem, as their mother wasn’t working her case or coming to visits. ‘Yes!’ could not come out of our mouths fast enough.
这些男孩越来越成为我们家庭的一部分，我们知道他们在那里留在那里。我的两个女儿回家只是看他们。I’ll never forget the day, eighteen months into the case, CPS went to court, ready for the judge to order termination, and instead, she ordered they be sent back home to a mother who hadn’t worked a single part of her plan. This time, once the judge gave the order to return them, we were given four hours’ notice to pack them up and send them out the door. They were coming home from a visit with their mother when I got the call. As they walked in the door, I collapsed on the bench by the front door and wept. They hadn’t seen me cry at all before this, but the oldest one walked over to me and said with such kindness and affection, ‘Mama, are you hurt?’ He placed his little three-year-old hands on my face and waited for me to answer him.
保佑他的头脑rt, he was very active, almost spastic-like, tripping and falling, constantly pulling up and trying to hang on things or spin or unable to sit still for a minute, and boy, were we exhausted, all three of us adults. Once again, right when you think you are at your breaking point, the therapies and help begin and the hidden personalities of these sweet children inside begin to emerge beautifully, little by little. Again, we were asked if we would be willing to adopt, as there were no family members willing or able to take them. This time we took a breath and talked it over, knowing this case was different, and we were older and wanted to think through if we could handle their teenage years. Sensory needs can be managed, but they don’t just go away. We said yes and headed into court for the termination trial once again.
这项审判是由陪审团进行的，花了五天的时间才完成。陪审团将他们授予家庭成员。我们知道这是一种可能性，但是随着我们与孩子们一起度过的一切，我们真的认为我们有机会。我和男孩们在法庭上回家，我的丈夫打电话告诉我，我们只有30分钟的时间来打包他们说再见。再次，损失是无法想象的。我不确定我会再接过另一个孩子。我真的不想。我想知道我们是否是为了应对这么多的损失。这次，我通过代理机构进行了大约两个月的时间来处理这一切。不仅是最后两个男孩，而且所有的损失。 In that time, I drew closer, instead of further, from the Lord. I knew in order for me to let go of all of our babies, I was going to have to trust Him more, which meant handing HIS children back to Him and trusting He loves them even more than I do.
我没有兴奋的前景,但是it allowed everyone to pull the curtain back a little and get a glimpse inside. For them, they got to see their son interacting with me. They got to see his room and his bed and all his toys. On one hand, that couldn’t have been easy, but it gave them a sense of peace that their child was going to be OK and he was loved. It allowed me to share with them how special I thought their son was and to encourage them through the process. Throughout the duration of the case, his mother has reached out to me for pictures, or wanting to share her own, updating me on how she is doing and rejoicing in the love her son and I have for each other. They have worked hard and done all that the courts have asked them to do.
However, we are having to prepare for our little love bug, who loves us fiercely and is only two, unable to fully comprehend he has a first family, that he may be going home from the home he loves and a home that loves him. It’s bittersweet! We don’t want to lose him selfishly, but they have fought hard and they deserve to have their child home with them, even if it means we endure another love loss. There is peace in knowing he will be loved and kept safe, but we will grieve. Along the way, many people have asked, and if I’m honest, we have had to ask ourselves, ‘Why keep doing this? It’s painful.’ There are two answers. The first is the Lord has asked us to, and He has proven He will always equip us with what we need, especially when it is beyond what we are capable of. After all, His word tells us repeatedly to take care of the widows and orphans. We get to be the hands and feet of Jesus. What an honor and privilege it is that He would entrust us with such a calling.
第二个答案是孩子需要依恋。他们需要知道他们足够，值得爱，安全和关怀。他们需要感觉到它并从中成长。研究表明，由于强烈的创伤和压力，受到照顾的孩子在某种意义上已经在大脑中有异常的布线。在我们的爱中，为他们提供安全的地方休息和康复，他们的大脑可以开始正确愈合和重新连接。如果我们爱他们并将我们所有的一切都提供帮助，我们将遭受损失。我们将继续前进，直到我们知道该停止了。是的，损失很大，但是奖励是惊人的。就目前而言，要在任何时间，持续时间，情况都爱这些孩子是一种祝福。这并不总是那么容易，但是他们的爱的回报和见证他们性格和力量的发展绝对美丽。 With that said, for every one we have loved and lost, we would do it all over again, in a heartbeat. Beauty from ashes.”
This story was submitted to beplay网络一直不畅 by Michelle Pritchard of Dallas, Texas. You can follow their journey onInstagram 。 提交你的自己的故事here,并确保 subscribe向我们的免费电子邮件通讯，以获取我们的最佳故事，以及 YouTubefor our best videos.
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