“我们从来都不是一个普通的家庭。但是话又说回来，还有什么像“普通家庭”这样的东西了吗？一个女儿离开大一新生，而另一个女儿开始了高中大三的时候，是时候改变了。当我的丈夫穿越全国上班时，我远离教学全职与家人一起回家。它为我们工作了一段时间，但我知道我想要更多。我与主谈论了下一步。我说，‘主啊，我觉得您可能需要我做的事情，但我还不知道这是什么。我准备再次忙碌，我可以回到教学是否需要的地方，但是如果没有，请告诉我。寄养.
因此，在过去六年中，开始了一段旅程，就像过山车一样：上下旋转，向前往返，有时甚至是颠倒，将您摇到核心，测试您的力量，承诺和能量，甚至您的零重力。但是，一旦您走出骑行并聚集了智慧，您就会意识到它的真正令人惊奇。我们向机构发送了一封电子邮件开始该过程，然后进行了初步筛选，在其中我们被问到了一些问题，并告诉我们何时上课。我们于2015年1月开始上课，并于2015年8月14日获得了两个年龄在0-5岁的孩子的认证。这些课程令人鼓舞，我们发现自己更加深入地研究了我们准备做的事情。
Our first placement came three days later. Our lives forever changed the day we met this sweet eighteen-month-old baby angel girl. When I got the call, I was told a little about her background. Sometimes you receive an abundance of information, and sometimes you have to ask a lot of questions. I sat there on the phone stalling because I needed to think. I was panicked because this would be our first placement, and I had a million questions but couldn’t think of a single one. I finally asked if she had any known behavioral issues and was given an answer to my satisfaction, then I put them on hold and called my husband. We agreed to accept the placement.
每当我们听到汽车时，我的女儿Ariel和我都会跑到窗户，看看他们是否到达了。当她最终这样做时，我简直不敢相信她是多么珍贵。她很漂亮！就像我一样兴奋，为什么她在那里首先在那里打击了我的现实。她在房子里跑来跑去，和我十六岁的孩子一起玩耍，我们很高兴。我们被告知可能有家庭，她可能不会呆很长时间，但是我们已经恋爱了。她是一堆咯咯笑，怪异和笑声。当我们购物新衣服和可爱的PJ时，她演奏并喜欢它时唱歌。她爱阿里尔（Ariel），等待她每天从学校里走进门，尖叫着，“娘娘腔！”，跳到她的怀里。
关于six weeks into our time with her, we were told she would be moving in with her great aunt and uncle. We were devastated. Knowing the goodbye was coming was hard. I teared up when I gave her baths or read her stories. We were only given a couple days’ notice. We celebrated her, prayed over her, and loved on her as much as we could. I wrote a letter to her family to share her schedule, and I hoped and prayed they would let us still see her sometimes. While we were finishing up packing her things the night before she was supposed to leave, we received our second placement call for a boy, five months old with nowhere to go. We immediately said yes and welcomed our newest little that evening, all scared, frightened, and sick. That first and last night was a long one for multiple reasons. We were filled with excitement, sadness, new baby not sleeping, grief, uncertainty on how the new placement would go, etc.
The next morning, my husband, Ariel, and myself said our goodbyes to our little angel and wept. Within a couple hours, my cell phone rang and as I answered my pulse quickened when I heard a voice on the other end say, ‘Hi, this the great aunt for the little one you took care of. We just want to thank you for all you’ve done, and we would love to have you still remain in her life if you would like to.’ I remember Ariel coming into my room with bloodshot eyes, having skipped school that day in tears over losing her little ‘sissy,’ and telling her about my call. To this day, we still get updates and get to see our growing little angel. She is happy and thriving and still the beautiful singing, silly little girl she was the day she arrived.
cWe were blessed to see him take all his firsts—teeth, crawling, walking holding on, walking alone, first holidays, all of it. Around eighteen months old, while my husband was out of the country, I got a call from the caseworker to pack his things. She would come get him in the morning. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I couldn’t breathe or form a sentence. My oldest daughter, Sydney, drove home that night from school, and friends came over to be with me as I faced our next major loss with virtually no warning at all.
My husband never got the chance to say goodbye. When you love someone with your whole heart, especially for the thirteen months we were given, it’s hard to let go. We decided to take a couple months off to grieve after loving a child for that time. I hadn’t had to navigate those waters yet, and we all needed some time. His mother had no interest in reaching out to us or allowing us to continue in his life. This added further devastation to our hearts. Our precious friends and family surrounded us, comforted us, loved us, and helped us get through that time. Still grieving, we opened our home yet again about two months later. Within minutes of opening our home, we got a call for another little eighteen-month-old boy.
这个家伙带着最大的头发和怪异的衣服到达，肮脏和害羞。在洗澡并打电话给朋友帮助我搭配他的混血头发之后，我们安顿了他整夜，等待着这个位置将如何去。让我说，不好。他不仅哭了，而且几乎不断地尖叫，张开嘴，除了睡觉时。我和我的丈夫甚至到了一个地步，我们的耳朵塞在房子里，耳朵里的耳塞才能生存。他为食物哭泣，哭了，哭了，如果你说“不”，哭了，哭了，因为你说的是“是”。那个挺难！但是，随着时间的流逝，我在早晨为他祈祷，我看着和平在他身上安顿下来。我丈夫有一天晚上回家，说：“有些不同，你们在笑着一起玩。”
我们在纽带。他的traumawas from a deep place, and he just needed to know someone would be there, someone would still love him. This forged one of my deepest relationships, because it was born out of pain and determination to love. A few months later, his baby brother, eight months old, joined our family from another foster home and the bond between blood was evident immediately. It was a huge leap for us, but they needed and deserved to be together. Ariel had said, ‘Why wouldn’t we take him in?’ How do you argue with that? About six months into the case, CPS asked if we would consideradoptingthem, as their mother wasn’t working her case or coming to visits. ‘Yes!’ could not come out of our mouths fast enough.
这些男孩越来越成为我们家庭的一部分，我们知道他们在那里留在那里。我的两个女儿回家只是看他们。I’ll never forget the day, eighteen months into the case, CPS went to court, ready for the judge to order termination, and instead, she ordered they be sent back home to a mother who hadn’t worked a single part of her plan. This time, once the judge gave the order to return them, we were given four hours’ notice to pack them up and send them out the door. They were coming home from a visit with their mother when I got the call. As they walked in the door, I collapsed on the bench by the front door and wept. They hadn’t seen me cry at all before this, but the oldest one walked over to me and said with such kindness and affection, ‘Mama, are you hurt?’ He placed his little three-year-old hands on my face and waited for me to answer him.
我们的思想被震撼了，看到他这一刻的同情心深度，如果他不接受寄养，那可能永远不会出现。到目前为止，这两个男孩的损失是我经历过的最大损失。他们离开了我们的家，他们的床，家人和朋友的爱，去庇护所生活，我只是看不到这方面的正义或公平。我对主很生气。随着时间的流逝，主以他温柔的恩典和怜悯，提醒我这些是他的孩子，而不是我的。他要担心，看着他的救援和爱。损失是该系统的一部分，人类设计的系统总是会有缺陷。他向我展示了这些是他的季节，而不是我的季节，而他正在使用我们，但我们可能只能写一两章，我们可能永远也不会看到结局。他向我展示了这本书，没有这些章节，这本书永远都无法完成，因此它们是必要的。他是他们故事的作者。
休假三个月后，我等不及了，所以我们打开了家，等待了三天，然后才打来电话。那天早上我醒了，知道打电话来了。就像主在准备我，问我，‘你准备好了吗？”那天晚上电话响了。我们说这次我们只想要一个孩子，但是电话是给两个小男孩，一个已经十九个月大了，他的弟弟已经七个星期大了。我把电话交给了我的丈夫，有点希望他拒绝，但他很快告诉他们把他们带上。这次我有疑问。我仍在悲伤和想念我的男孩，不确定要再走两个。我没有分享这一点，但只是为他们的到来而安静地准备，不得不相信来的人是主需要我们去的。
他们就在午夜之前到达。将他们覆盖的调查员鼓励我们立即洗澡，因为他们很肮脏。当我抱着一个非常脆弱的小婴儿并签署了所有文书工作时，我开始哭泣，因为我听着十九个月大的恐怖尖叫，对我的丈夫和女儿洗澡。我以为我们以前曾面对一个恐怖的孩子，但没有什么能接近他的恐怖。同时，当我在七月中旬开始从他沉重的冬季服装脱衣服时，眼泪不会停止滚下我的脸。在所有这些衣服下面都是婴儿如此虚弱，如此微小和骨骼。当我改变他时，我很害怕他的小胳膊和腿会折断。我很害怕。
我们迅速做了一个瓶子，把它给了他。他清空了瓶子，所以我们使他更多。那天晚上，他睡觉了，没有醒来再喂食。我们认为这可能是一件好事，我们会很幸运，但是我们很快就知道他没有醒来哭泣，因为他的哭声从未见过。第二天早上，我们被任命为医生，他被送往医院接受“未能壮成长”的监测。他患有非常严重的尿布皮疹，未经治疗可能会引起败血症。我们的生活再次被颠倒了。这次，我们所有人都轮流在家里，或者和婴儿一起在医院里。
当那个可爱的宝贝，一个没有人抱着的宝贝，直到现在，我都没有爱，我再次流泪，直到现在。对于我的一生，我不明白他为什么要微笑。当我微笑并与他交谈时，他微笑着向我咕o，我想，“只有耶稣”。只有耶稣才能为一个从未被爱过的婴儿带来和平，并教他如何微笑和点燃房间。一周后，我们终于回家了。他的荒地又脆弱了三个月。他对配方奶粉严重过敏，并再次开始减肥。我们进出了医生的办公室以及疗法和评估。然而，他的兄弟的需求也需要得到解决，但是由于婴儿的可怕需求而被推开了。一旦灯光终于对老大哥发光，我就了解了感官处理障碍。
保佑他的头脑rt, he was very active, almost spastic-like, tripping and falling, constantly pulling up and trying to hang on things or spin or unable to sit still for a minute, and boy, were we exhausted, all three of us adults. Once again, right when you think you are at your breaking point, the therapies and help begin and the hidden personalities of these sweet children inside begin to emerge beautifully, little by little. Again, we were asked if we would be willing to adopt, as there were no family members willing or able to take them. This time we took a breath and talked it over, knowing this case was different, and we were older and wanted to think through if we could handle their teenage years. Sensory needs can be managed, but they don’t just go away. We said yes and headed into court for the termination trial once again.
这项审判是由陪审团进行的，花了五天的时间才完成。陪审团将他们授予家庭成员。我们知道这是一种可能性，但是随着我们与孩子们一起度过的一切，我们真的认为我们有机会。我和男孩们在法庭上回家，我的丈夫打电话告诉我，我们只有30分钟的时间来打包他们说再见。再次，损失是无法想象的。我不确定我会再接过另一个孩子。我真的不想。我想知道我们是否是为了应对这么多的损失。这次，我通过代理机构进行了大约两个月的时间来处理这一切。不仅是最后两个男孩，而且所有的损失。 In that time, I drew closer, instead of further, from the Lord. I knew in order for me to let go of all of our babies, I was going to have to trust Him more, which meant handing HIS children back to Him and trusting He loves them even more than I do.
当我让这个沉没时，我看到这一旅程与我无关。爱这些伤害和无助的孩子，看着他们在您眼前的开花真是太幸运了。我们可以看到我们所产生的差异以及主如何使用我们，这很重要。我们目前有一个小男孩，我们正在等待查看13个月后他要回家了。我还没准备好，我永远也不会。我知道损失将是巨大的，并且在整个一天的每个部分中都会感到，但是我知道谁在我旁边行走。这一旅程有所不同，因为我们也能够爱上父母。由于共同和锁定，与父母的拜访是虚拟的。这意味着我让他的父母，那位父母没有被认为足以让孩子父母进入我的家。
我没有兴奋的前景,但是it allowed everyone to pull the curtain back a little and get a glimpse inside. For them, they got to see their son interacting with me. They got to see his room and his bed and all his toys. On one hand, that couldn’t have been easy, but it gave them a sense of peace that their child was going to be OK and he was loved. It allowed me to share with them how special I thought their son was and to encourage them through the process. Throughout the duration of the case, his mother has reached out to me for pictures, or wanting to share her own, updating me on how she is doing and rejoicing in the love her son and I have for each other. They have worked hard and done all that the courts have asked them to do.
However, we are having to prepare for our little love bug, who loves us fiercely and is only two, unable to fully comprehend he has a first family, that he may be going home from the home he loves and a home that loves him. It’s bittersweet! We don’t want to lose him selfishly, but they have fought hard and they deserve to have their child home with them, even if it means we endure another love loss. There is peace in knowing he will be loved and kept safe, but we will grieve. Along the way, many people have asked, and if I’m honest, we have had to ask ourselves, ‘Why keep doing this? It’s painful.’ There are two answers. The first is the Lord has asked us to, and He has proven He will always equip us with what we need, especially when it is beyond what we are capable of. After all, His word tells us repeatedly to take care of the widows and orphans. We get to be the hands and feet of Jesus. What an honor and privilege it is that He would entrust us with such a calling.
第二个答案是孩子需要依恋。他们需要知道他们足够，值得爱，安全和关怀。他们需要感觉到它并从中成长。研究表明，由于强烈的创伤和压力，受到照顾的孩子在某种意义上已经在大脑中有异常的布线。在我们的爱中，为他们提供安全的地方休息和康复，他们的大脑可以开始正确愈合和重新连接。如果我们爱他们并将我们所有的一切都提供帮助，我们将遭受损失。我们将继续前进，直到我们知道该停止了。是的，损失很大，但是奖励是惊人的。就目前而言，要在任何时间，持续时间，情况都爱这些孩子是一种祝福。这并不总是那么容易，但是他们的爱的回报和见证他们性格和力量的发展绝对美丽。 With that said, for every one we have loved and lost, we would do it all over again, in a heartbeat. Beauty from ashes.”
This story was submitted to beplay网络一直不畅 by Michelle Pritchard of Dallas, Texas. You can follow their journey onInstagram 。 提交你的自己的故事here,并确保 subscribe向我们的免费电子邮件通讯，以获取我们的最佳故事，以及 YouTubefor our best videos.
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