“Love first chooses you, then it’s our choice to continue to love. I met my husband in the unlikeliest of ways.
1998年，我们的爱情故事实际上开始了7年。我是高中，乍得是明尼苏达大学工程方案的初中。从彼此成长20分钟，我们不知道其他存在。
乍得正在驾驶在明尼苏达州南明尼苏达州的一个安静的乡间道路。他距离父母的家中只是英里，他曾在一路上驶了一千次。但是，这个夜晚已经很晚了，他累了。他在前一天晚上迟到了决赛。通过疲劳来克服，他发现自己离开了道路，进入了一个沟渠，颠倒在他的车里。我16岁的自我不知道那个男人我称我的丈夫正在感恩节早上在感恩节早上乘坐到Mayo Clinic。
乍得的生活在眨眼之间发生了变化。他在医院醒来，有无数挑战和未知的未来。乍得从胸前瘫痪，在呼吸机上争取他的生命，并学会适应他的新现实。经过4个半月的手术和康复之后，他足以走出呼吸机，驱动自己的电力轮椅，让医院住在一起。
Life was now different for Chad. Where he once loved doing things on his own, he would now need to rely on others to help him with many daily tasks. Though this was difficult, he never lost his drive to live a normal life. Depression and self-pity never swallowed him up. He recalls always seeing others in a worse condition than himself and being grateful for what he had. This positive attitude would be one of the lights that would draw me to him years later.
从大学毕业，他用明尼苏达州的交通处登陆了他的工作，使他能够建造自己的家。PCA现在是乍得生活中正常常规的一部分。他们每天早晚都会来帮助让他进出轮椅上的东西，刷牙，并伸展他的身体，以避免他的肌肉从缺乏使用中生长紧张。
Our stories begin to intertwine here. Twenty-two, with a college diploma in my hand, I thought the dream job would follow. The ramen noodles were done and I would be completely free and independent from my parents. I went out and purchased my very own place in a town where I didn’t know anyone. It was a foreclosure. I could afford it and I wanted to breathe life back into it.
With only a part-time position available teaching high school math and a house payment to make, the money was tight. Ramen noodles were back, and since I couldn’t afford a contractor, I was relying on my Dad to help me on my fixer-upper. All I wanted to do was teach, but I was looking for any extra work to make ends meet.
我妈妈的朋友提到了一个男人正在寻找兼职帮助只是几个街区。知道我需要更多的钱，我决定看看机会。乍得发生了七年的意外，我走到他家。我以前从未这样做过这样的工作。我年轻，紧张，不知道要期待什么。我所知道的只是他需要帮助，我需要工作。
我发现勇气敲门。我看到一个漂亮的看起来有冰蓝色的眼睛，让自己赶到前门附近的按钮，然后击中它。随着它摆脱开放，乍得有一个快速的微笑并介绍自己。他向我保证我可以在我告诉他之后立刻学习绳索，我是PCA工作的“新手”。他有一种简单的谈话方式让我感到完全放松和家里。我被他的笑容，干幽默和目光接触捕获。
在学习如何成为他的PCA的最初几周，我绝对尴尬，不确定和害羞。我被处理过的原子能机构告诉我的申请，我从未分享个人信息或与客户建立关系。所以当乍得了解我的生活问题时，我经常把它们扭转并问他。我的心在说是的，但我的头告诉我保持谨慎。落下我的老板肯定不是我的生活计划列表。
随着几周过去，我忍不住地看他不同。他勾选了我为同样的东西勾选的方式。我们都喜欢学习，需要思考，深谈的笑话，他是我见过的第一个我真的以为我很有趣的人。上帝开始写下我们的爱情故事，我开始要求更多的PCA班次。
One afternoon and a few months into knowing Chad, while helping him organize his office at MnDOT, he shyly asked, ‘Are you hungry?’ In my head, I’m thinking, ‘Is he about to ask me to dinner?’ The man I work for was asking me out and my heart was thumping out of my chest. ‘Yes!’ As we sat down at the table in a crowded steakhouse, I remember asking what he needed help with, but not wanting to embarrass him in front of the strangers who were inevitably staring at the two of us. I knew how to help get him out of his wheelchair at night, but now I was navigating through waters of learning how to ‘do life’ with Chad. At dinner that night, while cutting up his pork chop so he could use his own fork attached to his wrist splint, I was able to begin imagining what life alongside Chad would feel like. And I couldn’t get enough.
不久之后，我的心脏需要知道这种关系在哪里。在我的3小时轮班期间，我们已经联系，而不是身体，但在智力层面上密切相关。我有蝴蝶，无休止的微笑，以及越来越多地看到他的焦虑感。我有一个感觉乍得正在遇到类似的感受，因为他会找到随意的事情让我在他家周围做，尽量让我保持在那里。我搞砸了胆量，'那么我们是什么？朋友或更多的东西？“他暂停了，然后做了我们现在嘲笑的事情。他把它重新放在我身上，'我不知道，你觉得怎么样？“现在感到不确定，我扮演它安全说道，”只是朋友“，但我们都暗中希望听到相反的话。
通过的日子，我们继续联系过度的故事，经验，共同利益，以及生活积极生活的强大和类似的前景。没有寻找它，当我们分享我们的梦想，目标和未来的前景时，我坠入爱河。我想要“只是朋友”变得更多。随着每个谈话，我对他的热爱加深，轮椅消失了。两周后，我们第一次见面后四个月，我得到了我的愿望，并在2005年12月要求我成为他的女朋友。是的！
因为我爱上了乍得,不是简单的一个人who couldn’t walk, I found it alarming to begin receiving stares and probing questions from others. It brought concerns to my head I never considered. You see, Chad is a catch. A real gentleman. He’s kind, handsome, smart, and in my eyes could have his choice of any girl to date, but his chair poses a roadblock for many. After much prayer, I mustered up the courage to show immense vulnerability and ask Chad a very difficult question. ‘Are you dating me because you are afraid no one else will come along? Are you worried your wheelchair means you should grab the first girl who shows interest?’
I needed to know – are you choosing me for me or do you think this is the best you will get? His answer blew away any doubt he would choose me no matter what. My question didn’t offend him; he was grateful I opened such a real part of my heart to him. When he said, ‘Andrea, I’d choose you every day for the rest of my life, regardless of our capabilities. I’m blessed you choose me,’ it solidified my devotion and love for a man who came into my life at the exact right time.
在接下来的九个月里，我们更近了。每一日期都带来了新的体验和新的法线。我们经常会找到一条远足径，看看我们在椅子上有多远的路径，我们可以在太过危险之前。我们都渴望充实的生活，所以只要没有楼梯，我们就会尝试奇迹和感激地冒险一起冒险。一个特定的州立园区在2006年9月变得更加令人难忘。大约一英里进入树林里，把蚊子甩了整个方式，我们单独遇到了一小部分树木。我发现自己坐在他的腿上，俯瞰圣克罗伊河，乍得从他的手腕夹上拉出一个戒指，因为他让我成为他的妻子。一千次是！
我从来没有冷过脚。我知道我的核心我们是一场比赛。今天，超过12年进入我们的婚姻，并与我们的女儿玛丽祝福，我们都是感恩的上帝用悲剧让我们聚集在一起。爱得到了挑战，乍得和我都相信这一点。让这种态度越多推动你的生活，他就越越来越朝着你的良好和坏的爱和善良。
如果我应该承诺乍得的轮椅可能出现，我很感激我不听听别人。挑战是一个相对的术语。对我来说，我必须帮助乍得的事情只是常规生活的一部分，而不是克服的障碍。当他每天带来稳定性，爱和喜悦时，我会成为他的手脚。而现实是所有关系都具有挑战性，需要努力工作。许多夫妻私下生活在他们的斗争中，我们的“挑战”仅仅对他人来说更加明显。由于乍得经常教我，当你记得你有100％控制你选择查看世界时，生活很好。态度决定一切。”
这个故事已提交给beplay网络一直不畅by Andrea Hanson. You can follow her journey onInstagram。你有类似的经历吗？我们想听听你的重要旅程。提交自己的故事这里。务必订阅to our free email newsletter for our best stories, andYouTube为我们最好的视频。
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